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What do I say when I don’t know what to say?

Updated: 1 hour ago

It’s not always easy to find the right words when someone is struggling. It can feel daunting and sometimes we worry about saying the wrong thing so we don’t say anything at all.

Woman on her bed looking at her phone

Here are a few tips about how you can offer support when you see someone else struggling on TalkLife or anywhere else on or offline.

1. Reactions are great but…

When we're online, it sometimes feels easier to hit a quick reaction button and send someone a hug or some support rather than writing a comment and having to think about what to say. But have you ever thought about also writing a short comment telling someone why you reacted to their post? It’s a really nice way to support!

Here are some examples of what to say:

  • “I’ve sent you a hug because I wanted to let you know I care”

  • “I’m feeling the same as you, I didn’t know what to say but I wanted to let you know”

2. Use open questions

If you’re struggling with what to say to someone, why not try asking them an open question and see if you can get them to open up a bit more about how they are feeling? Open questions are ones that don’t lend themselves to yes or no answers, they encourage people to say a little more.

For example, if you don't know what to say, you can ask:

  • “How are you feeling?”

  • “What’s that like for you?”

  • “What’s going on for you at the momen